Efficacy:For my 37th birthday, I woke up with a slight inner ear ache. The night before I didn’t sleep well because I was up until 3:00 am in the morning reading magazines and working on articles for cacjohnson website. It is possible that I could place the blame for my sleepless in Seattle on the excitement, the anticipation of becoming another year older, yet, I know it was because I felt harried about having to write ten articles a month from my personal experiences. Egregiously, I know that the articles will not miraculously write themselves, therefore, not to leave the articles to mere chance; I surround myself with magazines, and new articles so that my ideas do not become evanescence. The articles I write for cacjohnson I want them to reflect confidence and respect not only for myself but also for the readers. Without cessation, I am constantly working on new articles and different ways to promote cacjohnson without crossing lines of integrity. Often I become disconcerted, because at times I feel incapacitated that I am not able to do more because of my limited resources. If I were given a predilection it would most likely entail being in my own office sitting at desk with my name on the door, however, I can not allow the environment where I work to deter the progress of cacjohnson nor stymie my attitude. Although, things are not perfect and the way I would like i.e them not having credit.My current debt situation has caused my personal affairs and finances to be in maelstrom. The issue of secured line credit, has wreaked havoc in my personal and professional affairs, not to sound histronic it has really created hardship, still, the day was not about cacjohnson it was about me turning thirty- seven. Most importantly, I do not want my self efficacy to center around credit troubles, I would like to have self efficacy that stated I was as diligent,deft, and persistent with the power to produce and create quality. At thirty- seven, I want to be engendering and hopefully find longevity in my new career. Happy Birthday: The days leading up to my 37th birthday I regressed by making two pans of brownies, but not just any brownies, more specifically, Duncan Hines Chocolate Lover’s Brownies Walnut with California walnuts and Duncan Hines Chocolate Lover’s Brownies Milk Chocolate Chunk that I snorted down my throat for about four days. The actual day of my birthday, I wore a pink tank top with silver round neck and white cotton pants. Turning thirty- seven, I thought more introspection was what my inner being was carving,along with more attention; instead, I had a caprice that I am my own worst cynic that my day required less cynicism, less thought. On my thirty –seventh birthday, a little less seriousness, not so stern, I worked on the frivolous things that could make a big difference. I took an early morning walk to the local Walgreens to have reprints made of a picture, I use frequently to introduce myself to prospective patrons, sponsors, and donors my actions were partly centered around building up my website and being prepared to socialize with the public when I look less than perfect. I returned back to my place of residence after my visit at Walgreens I sat down at the kitchen table with some white labels and a black sharpie, slowly, not hastily because I didn’t want to make mistakes and waste reprints I began to place my web address and Po Box on the back of the reprints. After writing my web address on the reprints, next, I was off to the shopping center near my place of residence. At the shopping center I did some comparison pricing then decided it was too hot (about 90 degrees) to continue with the window shopping. Eventually, I made my way over to a nearby fast food restaurant in the shopping center and bought a double cheese burger that was my last stop for the day before returning home. As walked back to my place of residency I open a bright pink umbrella with the rocawear logo. I guess it belong to my younger sister, it was left by the front door whoever it belonged to it worked out great. The umbrella matched the outfit I was wearing plus it shields me from the harmful rays of the sun. By late afternoon, I was in air conditioner. A few hours later, I received a call from relatives wishing me Happy Birthday the conversation was curt because they were still recovering from Hurricane Ike. With all the frivolous things done around 6:30pm my mind was more open than when I first woke in the morning.Engender:To fulfill my inner being, I read three articles in Redbook Magazine October edition that only drew me closer to my own mortality, and the sobering thoughts of how important it has become to seize each day. The first article I read”What I learned from breast cancer”… “one writer reveals what it’s really like to live with the disease” immediately, I began to have flash backs from the first time I was told by a nurse practitioner that I had reoccurring ovarian cyst, My first response was I wanted to become discrete with article I felt a strong sense of wanting to be separated and unattached from the words of the author. Over the past years, my reoccurring cysts have been problematic but not have developed to the worst case scenario as the author in the article. Although,I have had close encounters with the possibilities of cancer but did not follow through to receive the outcome. The main reason I have not followed through was not out of fear of the results,basically because many of the doctor visit require that I go by myself during periods of time that I am in dark place without an Amen Corner or Girl Friend support group often I am left irate and disheartened ,especially,during times of my health scare .
Continuation of Efficacy I: As result of reading the article “What I learned from breast cancer” I began to review what I knew about cancer from my many visits to Planned Parenthood clinics. Eventually, I did not dissemble the truth about cancer that it can be life threatening. Another astonishing truth,unquestionably,unequivocally, cancer affects millions of women.Ultimately, at some point in time millions of women every year must come face to face with the truth,the possibility of having breast cancer or ovarian cancer. I n my particular experience with breast exams and pap smears, I know that cancer can be devastating if left undetected and should not be taken likely; most importantly, I also know that with the new treatments available cancer doesn’t have to be the final word.
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